Since my heart attack… I have learned to be kind to myself. Oh! I was always kind to others. I always went out of my way to help. How I treated myself was a whole other thing! With myself I was judgmental and unforgiving. I often berated myself as a failure and felt insecure about my gifts. Then things changed. I realized that I was on borrowed time. I heard someone say that they took the St. Francis Prayer and applied it to them personally. Here's my version:
Lord, make me a heart of peace,
where there is self-hatred, teach me to love myself;
where there is shame, teach me to forgive myself;
where there is insecurity, teach me to believe in myself;
where there is fear, teach me hope in my future;
where I only see darkness in myself, show me your light;
where there is sadness over my past, grace me with joy one day at a time;
O Divine Master, grant that I learn to console myself as I console others;
Understand my own needs as I understand the needs of others;
Teach me to love myself as I love others.
For it is in giving to myself that I learn to give to others;
It is in pardoning myself that I learn to pardon others;
And it is living my life fully, as my Creator intended, that I am born to eternal life.